Craft Check

Rudy continues to stifle my versioning creativity, refusing to consider anything beyond “sequential numbers” for our release names. So this month we’re “proud” to announce Craft Check v1.0.3 (but not as proud as we would have been to announce Craft Check v1.0.MonkeysDoingPeopleThings.)

So you may have noticed that with our last release, there were certain things that were - and hang on here because I’m about to get pretty technical - “broken.” For those new to the tech world, “broken” is a term that denotes “functioning at less than optimal capability.” In this case, certain types of UPC codes - ironically, the kind that are most commonly used on MillerCoors products - scanned improperly about 20-30% of the time, which is just enough to ensure tracking them down is a major pain in the ass.

So we didn’t. We’ve got things to do here, people.

Instead of spending weeks on end trying to figure out why this thing happened sometimes but not always, we just replaced the scanning stack and now things work the way they should have the entire time. Easy, peasy, lemon squee - no. Stop fucking putting lemons in my beer. Limes are okay in certain circumstances. Oranges are never okay - it’s beer, not a fruit salad.

I guess what I’m trying to say is: when life gives you lemons (or oranges), keep them out my beer.

Release Notes:

• Fixed bug where certain types of short width-impaired UPCs improperly scanned and thus returned an incorrect response, those naughty, naughty UPCs. Fixed the issue by changing the scanning stack to native iOS scanning API, and ensured the short width-impaired UPCs were appropriately scolded for their insolence.
• Added or modified entries for a hundred new breweries, including some that contacted us asking why they weren’t in the database despite being authentic Craft Breweries. “Because you never call or write anymore,” we told them, before grudgingly adding them to the database and wondering whether they’re truly happy with that new beer social network or just acting that way on Facebook.
• Finally got around to watching the How I Met Your Mother finale. It went okay.

Good craft beer is hard to find. You might not know it, but most of the “craft” and “micro” breweries you see at your local store are actually made by the same assembly line multinational macrobreweries you see advertised nationwide.

So to help you distinguish the real craft breweries from the macrobrewed impostors, we made Craft Check for iPhone.

Just use your iPhone to scan the barcode of the beer you’re looking at, or search by brewery to instantly find out whether it’s an authentic craft brewery or just an imitation crafty brew from the big guys.

• Scan the barcode of the beer you’re holding, or search by brewery name.
• Uses the Brewers Association definition of American Craft Brewery.
• Instant responses for thousands of breweries.
• Monthly updates with new breweries, buyouts, and changes in the beverage industry.
• Share your results on Twitter and Facebook.
• iOS7 and iPhone 5S compatible.

Craft Check: Drink Craft - Not Crafty.

Just scan or search and instantly know whether you’re looking at a genuine Craft Beer or a crafty impostor from The Big Guys!

Featuring:

• More than 250 new Craft Breweries added to our database thanks to users throughout the country!
• Nearly four interface tweaks to save you precious time and energy!
• Better scanning!
• Fewer bugs!
• More words!
• The same number of people working on it (2.5!)

Everyone knows that there’s nothing sexier on New Year’s Eve than someone who knows their craft beer.** So don’t be the schmuck talking up your Beer IQ with a Shock Top in hand - make sure you’ve got something impressive to show off.

“Oh this?” you’ll say with a jaunty little smile on your face as you nonchalantly pull your party contribution out of its traveling receptacle, all the while cutting a beguiling figure not entirely unlike Han Solo or Princess Leia from Empire on, “It’s nothing really. Just a limited edition release from [insert genuine Craft Brewery here]. I figured I’d bring it along in case someone wanted to try it out.”

“My word,” they’ll exclaim in return, their voice indicating cautious intrigue but betraying more than a hint of wonder, “I’ve been meaning to try this/looking for it everywhere/hoping to find someone who appreciates the mind-boggling complexity of this seductive elixir! Marry me, Gertrude/William! Take me away from this tasteless peasantry and let’s spend the rest of our lives sampling the pleasures held therein!”

See what we mean? Those two are definitely going to enjoy their beers.

So let Craft Check make sure you’re bringing the good shit to the party this year - the rest of your life may depend on it.

**Seriously. It’s a thing. In fact, it’s all we talk about sometimes.

Craft Check: Drink Craft - Not Crafty.